To assume makes an ass out of... well, you know how it goes.

I think if asked what are some of the most important things to have in a relationship, most of us would say... love, communication, trust, etc... we're not all good at all of those things all of the time, but sometimes we're REALLY bad at it.  I mean, rough.

As you know may know if you're familiar with my blog, I've had some issues that could cause me to be to be distrusting.  Thankfully, I'm not, but it's just one of those things... if you're going to go for it in a relationship, you really have no choice but to trust them, knowing you may get hurt in the end, but the risk can be worth the reward... trusting someone can sometimes be NOT AT ALL about the person you're with, but an issue of getting a grip on yourself.

Anybody have that friend who is with someone who, no matter how faithful, loyal, and true they prove to be, their significant other just DOES NOT trust them?  What a miserable situation that is.  I feel badly for those people, truthfully both of them.  Blowing up their phone constantly, asking them where they've been, asking them again even after they've answered, treating their friends like crap, etc.  This creates so many problems within the relationship, not to mention outside the relationship.  I never want to be the girlfriend who my boyfriends friends do NOT want around.  I'm still a chick, I still don't like to camp, don't like bugs, don't like to be sweaty, don't like fart/poop jokes, etc.  Even though I'm not "one of the guys" in a lot of ways, I'm not going to be that bitchy girlfriend constantly nagging on my man, and the girl the guys say "ugh, you brought her again?" (at least I hope not!), because that causes a rift between friends and makes him have to choose, more often than he should have to.

Not to mention, another point these ladies (yeah, writing from a perspective of the untrusting ladies, though the jealous crazy men are rampant as well!) fail to remember is, when you constantly rag on your dude for his guys being bad news and how you don't trust him when he goes out with them, what do you think those guys are going to think of you... yeah, that you're a shrew and that he needs to get out and have a good time.  Doesn't matter a whole lot how much he really "knows you don't mean it," all the guys hear is the complaints and yelling and nagging, and they think he needs a strip club ASAP.  (Typically, these type of women automatically think if their man steps foot in a strip club, he's clearly sleeping with the stripper; FYI, not really what happens, but, you just drove his mug into the cleave of a stripper.  Nicely done.)

I think the real solution here is, if YOU don't trust your guy, but he hasn't actually done anything to earn that distrust, you need to figure out what your own issues are, and let go a little to allow him some more freedom WITHOUT freaking out.  Recognize that his friends are not your enemies.  If his friends don't dislike you, they won't have a reason to go out and try to get him into any situations he can't get himself out of.  If you've been accusing him constantly of cheating on you, being unfaithful, x, y, and z, he may feel like, what is the point of staying faithful if all I do is get accused of being UNfaithful anyway?  Get your own issues together and start letting the guy live a little, he may be so appreciative of your new attitude, you may see a whole new guy!

I recently heard about a married couple who DID have an infidelity situation, and the woman decided the solution is to now keep the cheating man essentially locked away, in a relationship prison, not able to spend time with anyone else, including his CHILDREN (I mean, I'm sure he gets to see daylight, but you get the drift), for fear that he may do it again.  Is this REALLY the solution?  If you choose to stay with this person, knowing what they've done in the past, you must once again choose to put your trust in them.  It's not a one foot in, one foot out choice, it is all in.  You can't expect that keeping them as your prisoner is the solution, checking emails, facebook, phones, mileage on car (I've heard this one done, believe it or not!).  It's not a life I would want to live to have to check up on someone like that or worry constantly, and it's not a life anyone else should have to live either.  If they screw up, they want to stay with you, and you're willing to take them back, you have to be willing to accept them back with no strings attached.  Forcing them to wear Punishment Pajamas for an eternity even after they've apologized and shown good behavior and said apology has been ACCEPTED shows you really didn't accept the apology, and you really don't believe in them or trust them anymore and really what is the point then?  I'm not saying it will be easy or go away overnight, or that you will immediately be back to the way things were, but you can't treat them as if they're paying for their mistake forever.  Otherwise, there is no reason to continue together.

Relationships have a lot to do with taking a risk, putting yourself out there, and sometimes, sure, you get your heart broken, sometimes pretty badly, feelings hurt, and so on, but if you don't fully commit to going for it, what is the point?  So many people are simply afraid to get into a relationship because they're afraid to get hurt, but that is exactly what a relationship is, a RISK!  You can't predict what will happen, heartbreak, marriage, kids, divorce, infidelity, eternal bliss, who knows!  But if it could be a forever happiness, isn't it worth it to find out?

Cannonball, baby, jump right in. 

Once you get there... soak it up.

This weekend I spent a really nice two days with my boyfriend in northern Indiana visiting his mom (and grandma) for a belated Mothers' Day. At first I was sort of hesitant about the timing because I had other things in mind for the holiday weekend, but I know how little time he has to get away, and I know how important it is to ME to get home every once in a while, so I happily packed up and we headed north.

We had been there once before, but only for a few hours one day, so I wasn't able to see much of where he grew up.  This time we were able to see a little more.  He took me to another home he once lived in, where he played and skateboarded with his friends, drove me by his high school and where he bought baseball cards, and on the way out of town we went to his grandparents' grave, something I wasn't sure about at first but that I am so glad I got to do with him.  We were only there for a few minutes, but I will remember it forever. The closeness I felt to him in those moments was immeasurable.  

My boyfriend's mom had to work to support their family, so he would go to his grandparents' house after school nearly every day.  They lived right across the street from the school, so they would help him with his homework, make sure he was staying on track, pretty much an extra set of parents.  He was recently interviewed for a newsletter at his work and it asked, if you could have dinner with anyone, dead or alive, who would it be?  Most of us would pick a celebrity, president, etc.  He answered, my grandparents.  To be able to go to their grave with him was pretty cool for me.  They died within a month of each other, he told me on the way home they were basically inseparable, together all of the time in everything they did.  Died of a broken heart?  Quite possible.  They both passed away in 1993, when he was just 11.  I wish I could have known them.  My boyfriend will turn 30 this year.  They were only in his life for 11 years and they made that much of an impact.  They must have been amazing people.

As you know from reading my blog (and knowing me, as many of you do), you know I have a great relationship with my boyfriend, and I'm head over heels for the guy.  But, this weekend was special.  Sitting around with his mom, sister, aunt, and uncle and hearing stories about him as a kid, seeing his hometown, seeing him as his family does, those who know him best.  It was AWESOME.  I know it's a big relationship step, taking the boy/girlfriend back home, etc.  But when you get there, soak it up.   Don't let a moment pass by without appreciating where you are. 

Looking better = feeling better = dating better

I used to be fat... no, really, I did.  I was about 187 or so at my heaviest, and I'm only 5'4'' so that's pretty big for someone who never really thought she was "obese", but by definition I was... and I will say, it SUCKED.  Being fat is no fun at all.  I was on the edge of no longer fitting into regular stores clothes (I was a 14), the cute styles didn't fit me right, and even my shoes were getting tight... UGH!  My weight gain was gradual, started in college and just kept going.  I'll include a picture later for proof...  And this is rare, because, as most heavy people know, you don't allow a lot of photos to be taken of you.

I mean, here's the thing.  It's not like I was super hideous or anything, like "oh my God look away, your eyes will burn out of the socket."  I'm just sort of setting the scene here... I was not the me I wanted to be.  I knew I was unhappy, but I was in too much of a funk at that point to change my life.  I would work out a few times, 20 minutes on the treadmill, then go eat a cheeseburger from Cheeseburger in Paradise (where I met the loser guy I dated who stole my sweatpants, dubbed appropriately Sweatpants, I'm not even sure my friends know his real name anymore).  I clearly just was not ready.

Perhaps the men I was meeting were a reflection of my unhappiness.  Literally the only men I met were servers at restaurants where I was stuffing my face.  And, I can't believe they were interested.  I was gross.  "Can I get another side of ranch, please?"  Ew. (Oops, I still do that.  Why is it ok for skinny people?  Double standard!  Power to the fat people!)  And I was definitely embarrassed by my body and the way I looked.  I have NEVER been someone who was not confident in myself, my abilities, approaching someone, etc, but I lost a big part of myself when I became ashamed of my weight.

This is my story.  But I think it's so relevant because it seems so many people who are unhappy look to find love to make them happy.  I would not have been prepared to find the love I have found today if I had found it then.  I'm not saying my boyfriend wouldn't have loved me at 187.  I just never would have believed someone so great would love someone as gross on the outside as I felt.  When you limit yourself in that way, you limit love.  We ALL have insecurities, but your mate isn't going to see them in you the way you do.  And the only way to truly allow yourself to love someone else unconditionally is to accept yourself for what you are.  The truth of the matter was, I couldn't do that at 187.  I didn't believe I was that person.  

At the zoo, seeing the elephants, and being one.

After... my body settles at 140, cheeseburgers or salads, workouts or naps

, and I'm ok with it.

So, I got to work on it.  Dropped 45 pounds and wow what a life change it made.  I started being more social all around, wanting to do more things, just in general more comfortable in my own skin.  I dated more, and even ran into Sweatpants and rubbed it in his face a little with how damn good I looked 45 pounds lighter.  When you're happy with yourself, it shines on the outside and people notice.

This doesn't really even have anything to do with weight specifically, that just happens to be my story.  Think of it in any context.  Ladies, when you have on your best outfit, or a new pair of shoes, or you just got your hair done... don't you walk with a little more confidence?  You'd be a little more likely to walk up to that hot guy at the bar, right?  It's just a general idea, looking better makes you feel better which in turn, just makes you more successful in dating.  There is NO QUESTION that a confident woman is a sexy woman and nothing makes a woman feel more confident than looking her best.

So get out there, girls!  Better yourselves, get that mani/pedi before you go out, get your butt on that treadmill, or pick up that new sexy pair of heels you've been eyeing... you can't put a price on confidence!

The "L" word

The "L" word is such a funny thing.  People are SO on edge about it, men and women alike.  I love the excitement surrounding it, sort of, but I also think it's just so crazy how much drama goes into it.  I love love love telling my boyfriend I love him.  I really do feel it every time I say it.  I hate getting into a routine of saying it every time we hang up the phone or say goodbye to eachother, but we sort of did fall into that routine.  I was afraid at first that it would feel TOO routine, like we had to say it, and then if we were in an argument or something, it would hurt that much more that we didn't say it when we hung up or something.  I don't know, as I said before, it's crazy the drama surround the the "L" word.

The even more interesting thing is saying it for the first time.  I think people really get wrapped up in it.  It's definitely an exciting time at the beginning of a relationship, falling in love with someone, starting to get comfortable with someone and learning eachother, etc.  So, how soon is too soon?  And when is the right time?  There really is no right answer for this.  I mean, there REALLY IS no right answer.  I'm going to give you my perspective on it because, quite frankly, this is my blog and that's what I do.  You may or may not agree, but this is my story and my observations combined to form my opinion.

I think women get into relationships thinking, I'm not going to say it until he says it.  And I really think a lot of us want to stick to those guns, and then I think nearly all of us break and say it first.  Which is fine in the end because I ALSO think that more men are afraid of "rejection" than women are in that situation.  I could be wrong, but I think the men are PERFECTLY FINE waiting it out forever if the woman doesn't say it first.  We put too much effort and worry into the wait and we forget to just enjoy the relationship!  Anyone who has been in a relationship for a long time (at just over 8 months, I'm not yet lumping myself into that category...) knows that you do later miss the early parts of the relationship, so why rush that stuff?  The "L" word, the moving in together, the BUYING PETS together (if THIS isn't just the biggest mistake EVER...), I think part of the reason so many relationships, especially marriages, fail can be traced back to the fact that people just simply got caught up in the excitement of a new relationship, did all the exciting stuff first, and completely forgot to really get to know eachother.

There are a few fears about the timing of saying it... saying it too soon can for sure scare a guy off.  I mean, really scare a guy off (or a girl, don't want to be one-sided on this I suppose).  If they don't love you back, or even if they do, they can also give you one of those awkward replies, "thank you" or "I like you" or just a silent smile... I really cannot give any advice on this because my best advice is to wait until they say it first, but if I'm giving that advice to everyone, there would be no more first "L" words in the world.  Everyone would be in an "L" word stand-off forever.  I think sometimes, though, you say it to someone, and then look back and realize it wasn't really love and in those instances, you really wish you would have waited.  It's not so much that there should be rules on telling someone you love them, we should be able to just tell someone when we feel it, but for so many reasons, that just never seems to work out well, blurting out "I LOVE YOU!" to someone when they aren't expecting it. 

Also, just as a side note, please don't ever do one of those casual I love yous when you guys are, say, laughing about something, or whatever you're doing.  I hate that!  Then it's confusing, did it slip out?  Did you really mean it, like, LOVE?  Or are you just saying it like, you love your buddies, like "I love you man?"  It's confusing.  Trying to be all cool about it is so wrong.  I had a friend whose guy did that and I was like... wow, DICK MOVE.  Because then she didn't know what to do!  AWKWARD.

I can't say I'm perfect regarding this and following my own advice, either.  I think my boyfriend and I are guilty of the "L" word after about 3 and a half months.  Now, we definitely did have a bit of a whirlwind relationship in the beginning, spending day after day with eachother, the personal situations that were going on in our lives that I think brought us closer together quicker, and just the general complete honesty we have with eachother, about everything. I was TOTALLY that girl that said I wouldn't say it until he did, and then said it first, but, then later asked him if I hadn't said it, how long would it have been before he said it and he said probably a long time!  So... I think I was right.  We had this joke, he would always say, "I kinda like you, babe..." and I would jokingly pout, "just kinda?"  And he'd sorta say, "Yeah, I guess," with a smile.  One night (pre-"L"-word) I left my phone at his house and I realized it as soon as I got home.  I had no way to contact him but thru Facebook and he didn't even realize I had left if there until the next morning when my phone alarms started going off.  He took it to work, charged it for me while he was there, and met me over lunch downtown to return it to me.  He changed my background to this:

 

A sticky note he had written to me... Usually the "kinda like you" thing would bum me out, but this time I loved it.  It wasn't the words, it was the actions.  Eventually, I said it, and he said it back, and it was just perfect, but it's one of those things, there is no right answer...

Chicks who date douchebags (I told you it was coming)

Ladies, we've all done it.  He's hot, so you've gotta have him, right?  Or... he's SO hot that even if he's not perfect, it's justified?

Everyone's perfect Mimbo is just around the corner, but he is just eye candy.  There is nothing under the surface, or maybe what is under the surface is ugly.  It's like any doll when you're a kid, fun to play with but after a while, it just ends up at the bottom of the toy box unable to express emotion with a head that spins all the way around.

I dated an artsy Mimbo for several years.  Very pretty man.  Too pretty.  It got weird.  I don't have a need to be the better looking one in the relationship or anything, but I gained some weight in college and I began to think people would look at us like why the bleep is that hot Mimbo with that chunky girl.  Anddddd then he cheated on me.  So perhaps I wasn't that far off, and you do have to be on a somewhat level playing field.  Regardless, I'm not saying a Mimbo isn't fun.  They definitely can be, and can pass the time while waiting for Mr. Right, but I'm not really a fan of this practice.  A good guy seeing you with a Mimbo can really lower your attractiveness.  "What does she see in a douche like that?"  I guess I don't know if guys really think that, but I KNOW women do.  A guy loses value if he's with a total bimbo.  We want a guy who craves a woman with substance.  So, seeing a guy who clearly doesn't give a flying F about substance makes us wonder if he won't just up & leave a girl WITH said substance for the next floozy with a big fake rack and nipple clamps (I don't know why those came to mind.  Now I'm sort of intrigued, and grossed out all at once).

More often than anything with the situation of chicks who date douchebags, I see the girl with the guy who doesn't give a crap about HER, but she still sticks around.  The guy who is just a jerkface loser, going nowhere in life, but the girl is infatuated with him because they either were together in college or high school, or she doesn't think she can do better, or it's comfortable, or for God knows WHAT reason, she just sticks it out even though the relationship is sort of a joke.  He probably steps out on her, and all his friends, and most of her friends know it... her girlfriends try to tell her but she insists things are fine.  His guy friends are like, "where can we find more girls like your girlfriend?" thereby creating an environment of acceptance that it's not only OK, but desirable to treat your girlfriend like crap and get away with it.  WHY does this girl hang around?  Well... for a lot of the reasons I said above.

First, the girl who has been with her guy since high school, or college, or whatever.  Just close your eyes for a second and think about yourself in high school, or even college.  How different are you now?  Pretty damn different.  I don't want hardly any of the same things in a mate that I did back then.  If I married the guy I was dating in high school or college, I'd be pretty miserable now.  (Don't misquote me here, I'm not saying those relationships can't work!!!)  My life goals, relationship goals, financial, work, and personal goals are ALL different.  Typically this relationship of complacent girlfriend and douchebag boyfriend from high school/college consists of a girl who might have had dreams at one point, but put them on hold because she's "happy" with her guy who would rather play video games and get wasted with all the same buddies he's had since childhood, who are also douchebags.  She'll never escape because she has no backbone, and he won't ever leave because he knows how good he has it.  He might be a douchebag, but he's not a moron (the definition is slightly different, you see).


Then there's the girl who doesn't think she can do better.  She's probably with the class of douchebag who talks down to her, doesn't treat her special EVER, and doesn't allow her to do X, Y, and Z.  She might have been with a douchebag before who treated her like this and now she just flocks to controlling douchebags, but whatever the case may be, she just can't seem to shake them.  I feel bad for these girls, I really do.  I haven't always been the most beautiful girl in the room, and never will be, but I have always been a confident person, at least in myself.  I know when I'm not being treated right and I'M OUT.  These girls either don't see it or don't care... I just don't know.  It's frustrating and sad to see though.  My only hope is that these women can meet a good man one day who will make them feel beautiful and change their opinions of themselves... but really, that's an internal thing and I don't know that it will ever be better.  Douchebags of the world will probably always be able to pray on these ones.


There is also the girl who is afraid to be alone.  For the record, this might be the most dangerous kind.  There is an absolute PLETHORA of douchey dudes out there.  They are a dime a dozen, no doubt.  Any lonely girl out there can have a douchebag on her arm if she wants one.  These girls will date just about anybody, and hang onto them WAY past their relationship expiration date and against all advice of their friends, just because they are afraid of being alone.  This girl may also suffer from a fear of not thinking she can find anything better, but they ARE separate symptoms.  I am always scared for these girls because they just constantly sell themselves SO short.  They come off as so desperate ("desperate" to a guy translates to "crazy", so... you cray), everyone can see it but they have no control, like they just CANNOT let go.  It's really bizarre.  But the worst part is, once they get free of the douchebag they are dating... there is another one right around the corner to cure their 2-hour-old loneliness.  Independence, my ladies!

This really doesn't even scratch the surface.  And it doesn't REALLY explain WHY they are with these douchebags either, but hey, the title of this isn't "WHY chicks date douchebags"... and besides, what would I know, I'm not dating a douchebag and I can spot one a pair-of-lenseless-glasses and hat-off-to-the-side away.


If you need to up your Douchebag game (or just want a good idea for a Halloween costume), check out this link.  How to be a Douchebag

Breakups... who gets WHO? Relationship politics.

I've only been in two serious relationships before my current one, so I haven't had a TON of experience with actual breakups, but I've been on the outside of a lot of them, which I think gives me the proper education and experience to write on the subject. 

Having to choose between the parties after a breakup sucks.  But, it's a fact of life.  I'm appalled at how unfamiliar people are with the process of a breakup.  Just a few simple rules to follow that apply to nearly all breakup scenarios...

1.  If you were friends with the girl before the relationship started, and they breakup, you remain friends with the girl and... sorry, you, too, breakup with the guy (or vice versa).  Pretty straight forward.

2.  If you were part of the relationship, you can't really be super close with the family anymore.  This also includes his friends, pets, co-workers, and belongings.  Just not appropriate, especially after your ex gets a new significant other.  Which will happen, even though we BOTH know they suck at life and don't deserve happiness. 

I'm absolutely not saying there aren't exceptions.  I'm just saying, this is the general way it works.  People are so clueless to this.  I still have some friends and family who talk to my ex all the time like it's no big deal.  Guess what, you failed at breakup school.  You're on my team, remember?  (And not that we're keeping score, but... we are, and my team definitely won that breakup, so... you want to be on my team anyway.)  Telling him they miss him, wishing him a happy birthday... hey, guys, I'm here, and I see it.  It feels like crap when you do that!  Just saying.

It definitely gets sticky if you were EQUAL friends with both of them, or if your friend is the one who went bananas which caused the breakup, or if you are married/in a relationship and the guys are friends and the girls are friends, etc.  I am not saying it's black & white every single time.  But when it can be, it should be!  Girls are PRETTY good at getting this right, especially with their own girlfriends.  Most of the time it's the guys who are clueless.  I know a guy who his friends not only hang out with the ex on occasion (not only is she NOT their original friend but she caused the breakup), but he even has a friend who hooked up with and dated that same ex.  WHAT?  Against all rules completely.  Clearly not a real friend and DEFINITELY clueless to the bro code.

When I refer to "sides", I'm not talking about who is right and who is wrong.  Your girlfriend could be TOTALLY wrong!  I had a friend who had an affair and split up her marriage. (Not saying there weren't other factors, but that was pretty much the nail in the coffin I would say)  But... guess what, she's still my friend.  Her ex-husband is a sweet guy and I like him, but she was my friend first.  Still is my friend!  If I was choosing sides on right and wrong, it might be different, but I'm not here to pass judgment, I'm here to be a friend during and through a breakup.  People are generally hard enough on themselves anyway.  I don't call up the ex and say, hey, how are you, wanna hang out?  I call my friend and ask her those things.  SHE is my side!

The thing about it is, breakups SUCK.  Nobody likes them, everybody knows they are horrible, some people are afraid to even get into relationships because of how horrible a future breakup COULD be.  Your friends and family are what usually help you the most after your breakup.  Why in the world would you want to make it worse by being wishy washy?  Don't make a bad situation worse.  Yeah, some of my friends ex's I really liked.  And I still think, man they were a lot of fun.  My ex's families?  Heck yeah, loved them.  Still love them.  But it's not my place to call them up and be like, "let's have a girls weekend!"  I would love to do that, but we've all moved on, because that's the breakup circle of life.  You choose your side and you stick with it. They have their family, I have mine.  If my ex wants to disown his family, I'll take them :)  But... sadly, they are his.  And I have to accept that, because... WE BROKE UP.

Ode to Mascara... and a few other faves

I have always been a big fan of makeup.  In our house growing up, we didn't have rules on how old you had to be to wear makeup, so I started playing with it at a young age.  I have also been blessed with long eyelashes, in fact my boss at Victoria's Secret in college used to call me Lashes (Drea, loved her).  So, one of my favorite products in the world is... Mascara.  To the ladies out there who don't wear any makeup at all, I get it, you like low maintenance, quick, out the door.  But, I personally feel like that is no excuse.  Unless you wake up and leave your house within 3 minutes, you have time to freshen up your face, at least enough to not frighten small children.  A quick swipe of blush (it is NOT for old ladies!), mascara, and lip gloss and you are out the door, that honestly should take you less than a minute.  NO EXCUSES LADIES!

I wouldn't consider myself an expert on how to DO makeup, I just have always loved it.  I have done my friends makeup here & there for events and stuff, but nothing too fancy, I would definitely NOT trust myself to do it for anything too serious, go to a professional, I am not one... but, I think the most important thing that gave me a knack for it and maybe makes it appear that I am better skilled than I am... is that I am not afraid to try something new!  Green smoky eyes?  Sure.  Dramatic neons?  Why not.  I mean, it washes off in two seconds, so what the heck.  If I don't like it, I can always just go back to my classic purple or brown in a hot second, so why not try it?  I found a few things I liked just by playing around on a night when I wasn't going anywhere,  just wanted to get a little creative.

I am kind of rare though being a makeup whore... I buy cheap makeup.  Not like, Bonne Bell or anything, but I'm talking drug store makeup.  I'm all about CoverGirl, Revlon, Rimmel, etc.  I think when you try so many looks, you either have to buy a HUGE pallet and use a different one everyday so you use it down evenly, or you have to just buy cheap and make it look good.  I don't skimp on skinCARE, but makeup, I mean, whatever.  I use my fingers to apply most of it, no fancy sponges and not a lot of brushes, and I change it often. 

Just like in clothing, I don't like to be matchy-matchy with my makeup, matching it to my outfit exactly... if I'm wearing a blue outfit, I might do green eyes or something, but I hate blue on blue, etc.  I mean, it's fine if that's just what you wear everyday and then you throw on a blue top, but if everyday you wear a different colored shirt and then you match your eye makeup to it... cheesy (IMO).  Be more creative!  My latest favorite was sort of a seafoam green shadow with navy liner, and I got three compliments on my eye makeup in one day.  Some of my favorite products are featured below.

1.  CoverGirl Last Blast Volume Mascara

If you learn ANYTHING from this at all, learn this: this is THE best mascara EVER.  Just make sure you get the original, in the orange tube, and NOT waterproof... this mascara is BY FAR the best I have ever used, better than any expensive designer brand out there.  I can guarantee it.  I have so many friends and family members using it, we nearly have to label our tubes to keep track of them.  Only con: you run out of it faster than some others, it does dry up somewhat quickly.  Mascara tip, better believe I am cheap and add a drop of water to my tube when it gets super dry.  It does work one time!  The upside on that con though, it's less than $10 for a tube (I've seen it for $6 at Family Dollar, hell yeah!), which is way better than some of you pay for that garbage at the department stores that doesn't work HALF as good as this stuff.

 

2.  Rimmel Soft Kohl Kajal Eye Liner Pencil

This stuff can sometimes be hard to find in the stores, maybe it's just hard to find my color.  I am obsessed with eggplant colored eyeliner and this one has a really good deep purple eggplant color, called Purple Passion.  Funny how common you think that should be, but it really isn't.  I found this one on a hunt and I've been hooked since.  It stays on for a long time, is reasonably inexpensive, especially since it's "drug store makeup", and it doesn't rip your eyelid as you run it across.  I have three of these I've sharpened down to nubs in my makeup bag, but they are somewhat hard to find so I keep hanging onto them until they are totally gone!  I have it in white, too, for the inner corners of the eyes and under the brow... I just like the way this stuff feels, for an inexpensive liner.

 

3. Revlon Diamond Lust Shadow

These are my recent favorite, I think they are fairly new, because I haven't seen them before.  I've used Revlon shadow for a long time, I really like it, but I haven't seen these before.  They have a lot of glitter-looking stuff in them, which scared me at first, but the nice thing is... if you use the applicator to apply it, the glitter doesn't really get on your lid as much, but if you use your finger, the glitter is more noticeable, so you can sort of apply it two ways.  I use this when I want to apply it to my whole lid for that dramatic, all-over shadow look, but you can obviously wear it for any occasion!  It comes in five colors, but I really like Neptune Star, it's sort of a dark teal color.  Really pretty!

4.  Physicians Formula Baked Bronzer in Baked Tan

This is BY FAR the best bronzer I have ever used.  Costs me like $15 at CVS but it's well worth it.  Looks like you can get it for $12 on their website.  It does last me quite a long time, so it is worth $15 anyway.  It's not orangey looking (make sure you get it in the Baked TAN shade, not Baked BRONZE, or it will be orangey) and use it everywhere, it works on the bod too and since it has a very slight shimmer in it, it makes your skin look great!  I wear this stuff everyday, all seasons.

5.  Victoria's Secret Beauty Rush Lip Gloss

Now, this is my personal preference, every store has it's own gloss and I haven't tried them all, although I have tried quite a few.  I have loved a lot of glosses in my day, but I haven't switched off this one in a long time, probably 4 years or so!  I did recently fall for the Pure Romance Kiss & Tell gloss, but the tube was like $14 and lasted me about 2 weeks... so, back to the old tried & true.  Again, personal preference I use the shade Grapefruit Blast because it's really light, not much tint to it but a little bit, tastes delicious, just a little shine, and you can still glam up your eyes and wear it appropriately.  It's only $7 (or 2 for $12 or 4 for $20!) and it lasts quite a while, even for TOTAL gloss addicts like me.  No complaints from boyfriend, even when it ends up on his cheek or lips, it's totally clear!  Just leaves a shiny lip print :)

Please give me your feedback!  Did you try any of these products?  What do you think?  Got anything you like better??  Let me know!  I LOVE makeup, if it's cheap, I'm down to try it!