I used to be fat... no, really, I did. I was about 187 or so at my heaviest, and I'm only 5'4'' so that's pretty big for someone who never really thought she was "obese", but by definition I was... and I will say, it SUCKED. Being fat is no fun at all. I was on the edge of no longer fitting into regular stores clothes (I was a 14), the cute styles didn't fit me right, and even my shoes were getting tight... UGH! My weight gain was gradual, started in college and just kept going. I'll include a picture later for proof... And this is rare, because, as most heavy people know, you don't allow a lot of photos to be taken of you.
I mean, here's the thing. It's not like I was super hideous or anything, like "oh my God look away, your eyes will burn out of the socket." I'm just sort of setting the scene here... I was not the me I wanted to be. I knew I was unhappy, but I was in too much of a funk at that point to change my life. I would work out a few times, 20 minutes on the treadmill, then go eat a cheeseburger from Cheeseburger in Paradise (where I met the loser guy I dated who stole my sweatpants, dubbed appropriately Sweatpants, I'm not even sure my friends know his real name anymore). I clearly just was not ready.
Perhaps the men I was meeting were a reflection of my unhappiness. Literally the only men I met were servers at restaurants where I was stuffing my face. And, I can't believe they were interested. I was gross. "Can I get another side of ranch, please?" Ew. (Oops, I still do that. Why is it ok for skinny people? Double standard! Power to the fat people!) And I was definitely embarrassed by my body and the way I looked. I have NEVER been someone who was not confident in myself, my abilities, approaching someone, etc, but I lost a big part of myself when I became ashamed of my weight.
This is my story. But I think it's so relevant because it seems so many people who are unhappy look to find love to make them happy. I would not have been prepared to find the love I have found today if I had found it then. I'm not saying my boyfriend wouldn't have loved me at 187. I just never would have believed someone so great would love someone as gross on the outside as I felt. When you limit yourself in that way, you limit love. We ALL have insecurities, but your mate isn't going to see them in you the way you do. And the only way to truly allow yourself to love someone else unconditionally is to accept yourself for what you are. The truth of the matter was, I couldn't do that at 187. I didn't believe I was that person.
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| At the zoo, seeing the elephants, and being one. |
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| After... my body settles at 140, cheeseburgers or salads, workouts or naps | , and I'm ok with it. |
So, I got to work on it. Dropped 45 pounds and wow what a life change it made. I started being more social all around, wanting to do more things, just in general more comfortable in my own skin. I dated more, and even ran into Sweatpants and rubbed it in his face a little with how damn good I looked 45 pounds lighter. When you're happy with yourself, it shines on the outside and people notice.
This doesn't really even have anything to do with weight specifically, that just happens to be my story. Think of it in any context. Ladies, when you have on your best outfit, or a new pair of shoes, or you just got your hair done... don't you walk with a little more confidence? You'd be a little more likely to walk up to that hot guy at the bar, right? It's just a general idea, looking better makes you feel better which in turn, just makes you more successful in dating. There is NO QUESTION that a confident woman is a sexy woman and nothing makes a woman feel more confident than looking her best.
So get out there, girls! Better yourselves, get that mani/pedi before you go out, get your butt on that treadmill, or pick up that new sexy pair of heels you've been eyeing... you can't put a price on confidence!
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