Wow, I mean, this entry is basically 10 in 1. The way facebook, social media, google, and the internet in general have changed dating today... it's a 180 from just a decade ago to now. I can't say I am not guilty of facebooking or googling my dates, and frankly, I think you're stupid if you don't. Yup, I said it. You better check that crap out, and quick. I mean, what if he's wearing a TapOut shirt in his profile picture, for goodness sake? Get out, now!
On the flip side, you know he's probably looking you up... Nobody puts up a picture of themselves when they first wake up in the morning, but you also don't want a picture of yourself from like Prom 2000... Even worse, is it a picture of you with "duck face"? Yeah, you know the one. Don't do it. Unless you really are a duck, and look like this. If so, wow, I'm really sorry. Hope you find your duckmate.
Be realistic, you're both checking eachother out, so what do you want him to see? You aren't allowed to judge if you have anything worth judging yourself. Private your shit, do it.
The whole point of a first date, as I explained in First date etiquette, Part 1, is to GET TO KNOW EACHOTHER! If you give it all away via Facebook before he even gets there... what's to talk about. And you, yourself, need to be careful of revealing that you have cyberstalked him prior to your date. Did he tell you where he worked before this date, or did you find it on Facebook? If he didn't tell you, better not bring it up...
I also have a rule re friending/following on Twitter/Facebook and all of those other sites. Only ONE time have I ever "friended" someone prior to a date, and it was because they lived out of state... sort of an odd situation, so it was an easy way for us to get to know eachother, aside from a lot of phone conversations... But if you CAN go on actual dates, there is no reason you should be friending eachother on Facebook prior to FIVE dates. YES! The Facebook Five! I would go even farther than that, and say 10, but some people can't resist. I would absolutely hold out for 10 dates, or as long as you possibly can. Because you know your assface friends are all over your Facebook wall, "So excited for your date tonight, ooooh, good luck!" and, "How did it go???"
Not to mention, a persons Facebook is like their alter-ego. It might tell you a lot about them in some ways, but it just doesn't give you the whole story. Don't judge a ho/bro by their Facebook. But more importantly, just don't give anybody a chance to judge YOU before they know you. Dating has become so sickeningly impersonal today. Yes, face to face dating is somewhat uncomfortable at times. You can't hide behind your iphone or your computer. But that's just what makes it so great. You get to learn their mannerisms, the way their humor really comes across, you get to see how a person treats wait staff at restaurants (this is a big thing for me, I don't know why, but guys who are jerks to servers=HUGE turnoff), there is so much to be said about personal contact.
Have you ever been cyberstalking someone, and accidentally "liked" a post? I mean, sure, you can "unlike" it, but... the damage is done. Notification: sent. You're screwed. Lesson learned? Maybe. Maybe not. I have a friend who was stalking the ex-girlfriend of an ass of a man she was dating, just to see what kind of girl she was, and she "liked" one of her pictures. Way to go, creep! This was about two years ago. Last week, she told me she "accidentally" came across her ex-boyfriends (a different one) wedding website on his fiance's Facebook. Hm, but they're not friends... she didn't learn. But, you should. I "poked" a guy on Facebook last year. Who "pokes" anymore??? Embarrassing. We ended up going on a HORRIBLE date after that. And then he wouldn't leave me alone for months. Lesson LEARNED.
Facebook is great, I'm a HUGE social media fan, but it can get you in a lot of trouble. Dating is personal! You can do a quick glance to be sure he isn't, you know, wearing an Ohio State t-shirt in his profile picture (EW BUCKEYES!), but beyond that... give him a chance to TELL you what he's all about, and you do the same.
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