I'm the first to say, I was becoming a bit skeptical that there were good men in the world. And not just good men that were honest and treated women right (well, ok, that was a bit lacking in most men I knew), but also men who frickin knew how to take care of themselves. My GOD, is EVERY man today a man-child? It is just unbelievable. I had not dated a guy who...
a. could hold down a steady job
b. knew how to take a woman on a legitimate adult date
c. could go out with his friends without getting another girls' number
d. owned a car/home/pet/anything (in his own name...) that was worth more than $10 that he was responsible for
...in all 5 years I was dating. PATHETIC! What is going ON out there today? I'm not guy bashing, clearly I know they are out there as I eventually DID find one, but it was just becoming depressing. After a while when people would ask me what I would look for in a man, my tag like became, "a man who PAYS his BILLS!" Low standards, to some, but wow. It's rough out there.
Moms out there... do your sons a service, raise them to take care of themselves, teach them responsibility, do not make them mommas boys. No women will want them. I don't blame these men! I blame their mothers! My boyfriend's mom was working for most of his growing up years, so he really had no choice but to learn on his own how to take care of himself. I believe he is the (amazing!) man he is today because of that.
I still think the way we started dating is funny, but cute, because it really was innocent, and just blossomed into something without any original expectations of such. I messaged him on facebook for free cover into his club, and he messaged me back with his phone number, neither of us had any inkling of anything. I was just using him for free cover, and I'm sure he assumed such and didn't care. Casual "hi"s and thank yous at the club after free cover was given (my friend and I, "Hm, new DJ is kinda cute!"), until more conversations started. A friend and I had our birthdays in the little nook right behind his DJ booth a few months later and I sent him a flirty note which he claims he did not catch onto as flirting (I was drunk, perhaps off my flirting game)... followed a few weeks later by a full evening of texting while I traveled to Michigan for a weekend. We set up a date for that following Monday when I got back (drinks, at 9 pm, and I drove myself, of course! Reference prior blog entry...) and the rest is history :) 10 straight days of dates without skipping a beat, we were smitten.
What a difference it makes, meeting that one person who changes your mind about love and relationships and all of that mushy stuff. My friends would comment on how he "softened" me, and I agree. The saying, you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince... definitely true. I've found mine :) This man owns a house, a car, pays his bills, doesn't need me to take care of him, but still asks my opinion on things and respects me, can take me out to a nice dinner, holds down a steady job (two in fact), is one of the hardest workers I know, tells me I am beautiful EVERY day, has two pups he takes amazing care of, and loves me explicitly, doesn't disrespect me even though he works in a dance club... which, yeah, not ideal, but when you trust your guy like I do, you sleep OK at night.
We were both cheated on in our past relationships, so it was pretty easy to say if you cheat, I'm out, on both ends. It's a horrible feeling, especially when you love someone so much. I know relationships survive it, but when two people come together as broken as we had both been previously, you just have to make those decisions. Commit or get out. I know it's important to him so I have no suspicions. Doesn't mean the girls who try aren't going to feel my wrath... MINE MINE MINE! :) It took me 5 and a half years to find him... you'll have to be a MUCH better bitch than that to take him from me. :)
The moral of this story... hang in there. There ARE still good ones out there, they are just buried under a hot mess pile of manchildren.
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